Justin Gatlin, the fifth-fastest man in history, recently asked others to step in his shoes. “Imagine being away from a sport, your sport for 4 years,” Gatlin said while discussing his four-year ban from 2006 to 2010 due to an anti-d***ng violation. However, there’s one track and field icon who doesn’t have to imagine how it feels because she can describe it.

Shelby Houlihan did exactly that in her latest social media post. “4 years. I took this picture the day after finding out I had been banned for 4 years. Nothing made sense and I felt incredibly lost. When I thought about the future, it all seemed so dark, and I couldn’t see a way through it.” Houlihan said while sharing the photo she took during the infamous burrito ban incident.

The end of Shelby Houlihan’s four-year exile

“‘Am I going to be the same athlete I was before all of this?’ The simple answer is no,” is the thought that’s occupied the track and field icon’s mind. As a former national champion and Olympian, Houlihan had a lofty dream of winning Olympic gold when the ban ended all her aspirations. Yet all it took was a failed d*** test to jeopardize the athlete’s entire life.

Throughout these four years, the middle-distance runner has often thought of how a burrito came to contain a banned substance. “I still have no real answers for what happened 4 years ago. Was it the meat in a burrito? Possibly. Could it have been something else entirely? Absolutely,” explained the 5000m specialist. However, she also raised some questions.

While the track and field veteran didn’t find answers to some questions, seeing how things worked raised more. Houlihan spoke of “inconsistencies in standards and protocols, a lack of transparency, and a lack of accountability within the anti-doping governing bodies” in her post. Maybe that’s why the runner had appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

Unfortunately, the CAS rejected the appeal based on three different counts. These three counts were a mismatch of the meat’s source, the levels of the banned were three times higher than what’s found in the case of consuming contaminated food, and finally, an insufficient polygraph and hair sample analysis submitted by the athlete’s team in her defense. However, Houlihan has left her past behind.

While these four years away from competition have not been easy, they’ve also helped the runner rediscover herself in a new light. Just because Houlihan won’t be the same athlete she once was, “doesn’t mean it can’t be better,” explained the Olympian. Shelby Houlihan is excited about the future.

The track and field veteran’s goals for her career rebirth

Attempting a comeback at 31 after four years away from the track won’t be an easy task. However, just because the former Olympian didn’t race in four years doesn’t mean she didn’t train either. The Iowa native is currently living in Beaverton, Oregon, and “running about 80 to 85 miles per week,” as per the Runner World magazine. The veteran isn’t just running to take part either.

Taking a page out of Sha’Carri Richardson’s return to Olympic glory, Houlihan’s mindset can also be summed up with Richardson’s catchphrase, “She isn’t back, she’s better.” The track and field champion explained what she hopes to achieve while speaking with The Running Effect. “I want to go after as many records as I can. That’s the thought I have in my head,” she said.

“I don’t care if it’s like the 800, the marathon, road, indoor, outdoor, like off distance. I want to just see what I’m capable of and try to see what I can do,” the 1500m American record holder said in September 2024. The Arizona State alum has also been training alongside pro track athletes for the last two months. Now that the ban is over, she hopes to return to competition soon.

The Rio 2016 competition hopes to make her track and field return during the 2025 indoor season. Houlihan has entrusted agent Paul Doyle to find her a sponsor and a race where she can make her return after four long years.