“Don’t Think He Knew How to Fix It”: Michael Phelps’ Mother, Once Revealed Real Reason He Couldn’t Bond With His Father

Michael Phelps became the greatest swimmer in history with the support of his single mother and two sisters. His parents divorced when he was nine years old, and Phelps struggled with his father’s absence for a long time.

The swimming legend’s sisters maintained a close relationship with their father, which wasn’t the case for Phelps. But their estrangement didn’t stem from a result of lack of effort. 

Michael Phelps had a hard time connecting with his father

In an in-depth interview with ESPN, Michael Phelps and his family shared the nuances of their dynamic. The divorce weighed heavily on the swimmer, and his mother, Ms. Debbie Phelps, went back to school so she could support their family better. Meanwhile, Phelps’ father, Mr. Michael Fred Phelps, didn’t wish to be out of the picture.

“My ex-husband loved his kids. He loves his kids,” Debbie said. “It bothered him. But I don’t think he knew how to fix it. So Michael just kept on escalating and escalating and things were going OK, so he didn’t feel like he needed his dad.” Despite attempts at reconnection from his father, Phelps wasn’t very keen.

In 2008, he agreed to meet up with Fred. However, Phelps changed his mind before they could carry out the plans. “I just didn’t want to,” he said. “At times, I was like, ‘This is a really good idea.’ And we’d text and then I’d just stop texting and asking myself, ‘What am I doing? Why? I don’t want that. I don’t need that.’”

READ MORE: Stephen Curry’s Parents Once Related With Michael Phelps’ Mother on Their Kids’ Struggle With Outburst in Public: “Reflection of Your Total Family”

Instead, the 23-time Olympic champion filled that void in other ways. For him, his agent Peter Carlisle and coach Bob Bowman acted as father figures. Phelps’ estrangement from Fred became more pronounced as he started gaining fame for swimming prowess. “I kept trying and trying, but he always had something to do,” Fred told ESPN.

Their relationship stayed on the rocks for a long time

Michael Phelps opened up about his perspective on the divorce in an interview with Sports Illustrated. “I felt abandoned,” he said. “I have an amazing mother and two amazing sisters. But I would like to have a father in my life, and I’ve been carrying that around for 20 years. That’s a long time. It does something to you. To a kid, especially.”

In 2014, the police arrested Phelps for driving under the influence, which followed a voluntary 45-day rehab stint. When Fred found out, he texted his son, but Phelps only withdrew further. The most decorated Olympian told ESPN that two incidents particularly bothered him.

Phelps competed at the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland, in 2003. He set his first short-course US record in that meet. His father had promised to be there to support him for his race but never showed up. The second incident was in Sydney, Phelps’ very first Olympics.

On the first day of the competition, Fred pulled the swimmer aside to introduce him to his new wife when nobody in the family even knew he had remarried. The news was deeply upsetting for Phelps, and it took a long time to overcome his issues of abandonment and avoidance towards his father.

WATCH THIS STORY: Michael Phelps’s Mother Fought With Teachers to Save Him From Health Disease Insecurities