“Can’t Take Ownership for..”: Michael Phelps’ Wife, Opened Up on Struggles of Fixing Husband’s Depression Herself

Michael Phelps’ journey to becoming the greatest swimmer of all time had plenty of obstacles. He struggled with his mental health, fighting a long battle with depression and suicidal ideation. Moreover, Phelps found out he had ADHD when he was nine.

His parents got divorced when he was young, and his father’s absence took a heavy toll on him. In all, Phelps found himself in a terrible state of mind. Naturally, his wife, Nicole Phelps, was terrified of losing her husband.

Michael Phelps’ wife couldn’t help her husband in the way she wanted

Things got pretty bad for Michael Phelps when his depression was left unchecked for years. Nicole, who dated him on and off for years before they got together, feared for his life. In 2020, when NBA legend Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash, it amplified Nicole’s anxiety.

“After Vanessa (Bryant) lost Kobe, all I could do was look at Michael and be like, ‘Can we please help you? Because if I lose you, I don’t know what I’m gonna do,’” Nicole told TODAY. To see your loved ones suffering is a painful experience, but it gets even worse when you find yourself incapable of helping them.

“I used to think, ‘Oh, I can fix him, I can be his therapist, I can be what he needs,’” she said. “But what I’ve learned is that you can’t take ownership for how they’re feeling, no matter how badly you want to.” The couple has three sons, Boomer, Beckett, and Maverick. And just like their mother, they want to be around their father on his bad days.

READ MORE: “Don’t Think He Knew How to Fix It”: Michael Phelps’ Mother, Once Revealed Real Reason He Couldn’t Bond With His Father

Nicole learned to give the Olympic legend space when he isn’t feeling well. And she had to teach their kids the same thing. Their oldest son, Boomer, is especially sensitive to his father’s mood. “We’ll say, ‘Hey Booms, Daddy’s having a hard time and just needs to take a moment to be alone.’ We want Boomer to understand it’s not about him, it’s about Michael,” she explained.

Phelps had a hard time dealing with depression

In 2014, the police arrested Michael Phelps for driving under the influence. The 23-time Olympic champion got clocked for excessive speed and crossing double lane lines, doing 84mph in a 45mph zone in Baltimore. He told Sports Illustrated, “I was in a really dark place, not wanting to be alive anymore.”

Everyone in the swimming legend’s life was concerned for his safety. His mother, Ms. Deborah ‘Debbie’ Phelps, and coach Bob Bowman, worried beyond belief. After the arrest, Phelps did a 45-day stint in a rehab facility in Arizona. Here, he learned to face his issues and started growing. “I look back now,” Phelps said. “I lived in a bubble for a long time.” 

But he worked on his issues, gave therapy a real chance, and understood that recovery takes time. He got back into the pool, took care of his body, and gave his all for his last Olympic cycle, which culminated in Rio in 2016. He walked away from swimming after finishing up his tally at 28 medals.

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