At this year’s NCAA Volleyball Championship, two SEC juggernauts are set to bring the heat once again. The Texas Longhorns, two-time defending champions, will be vying for a third consecutive title, led by the exceptional Madisen Skinner. Meanwhile, Skinner’s former team, the Kentucky Wildcats, will also be in the hunt for their second NCAA volleyball title. The prospect of facing her old teammates on the national stage has Skinner feeling a mix of excitement and nostalgia as memories come flooding back. But all of those are not happy ones.

Of course, Madi can not forget that she led Kentucky to its first-ever national championship. It was also a first for any team in the SEC. Madi pulled off a career-high 19 kills in the title game against Texas. Shining alongside was her sister Avery, who had 14 kills and four blocks in that game. But Avery thinks, “We couldn’t have won that championship without her [Madi].” This very dependence on Madi brought the burden of expectations, which became too much for the youngster. So much so that one evening she texted a friend, “I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to be here.” As Madi revealed, Kentucky’s coach Craig Skinner could not do enough to soothe her during the crisis.

In a December 3 article by ESPN Madi talked candidly about how things at Kentucky got too intense for her to handle. COVID had pushed that 2020 tournament to the spring of 2021. So there were just six weeks off between the end of one season and the start of the next. Meanwhile, Avery transferred to Baylor to finish her college eligibility. Understandably, everyone in the university’s volleyball landscape started looking up to Madi to fill those shoes. “I was playing so much volleyball I was sick of it. I felt like people only really cared about me as a volleyball player,” she said. Unfortunately, Craig Skinner also fell among these people.

Madi recalled, “When I was there, he was a coach, nothing more, nothing less,” Madi says. “No coffee dates. No chitchats.” She began having panic attacks. At a practice in early October 2021, trainer Katy Poole could tell something was wrong. Madi’s mother Rebeca still did not forget the day she went to pick up Mady after a match in late October.

Bursting into tears, Mady said, “Mom, this is a lot.” But she did not know how to seek help from. Weeks after this, Coach Skinner called her aside to share an observation he had about Madi. She remembers him telling her that she wasn’t engaging with her teammates, that she wasn’t invested in them, and that she was pulling away. Madi tried to explain to him what he was going through.

“You know how down bad I am, how much I’m struggling, and you’re not texting me, not checking in on me, and you’re expecting so much from me as a volleyball player, and you’re expecting me to carry this huge load and to produce for the team and do all of these things,” Madi said the coach as she visited his office. Unfortunately, this time as well, Madi missed the warmth she was looking for.

Craig said he cared about her, but that part of coming to college was growing up and learning how to handle the problems. His words did no good to Madi. By November of that year, Madi’s condition deteriorated further, and she started failing her classes. It was then she knew she had to take radical measures to escape before the walls closed in on her in the Wildcats locker room. So, why Texas?

Madi wanted to be in a city where she could have a life outside of volleyball. UCLA and USC were her top choices. Nebraska and Wisconsin got in touch with her. So did Texas coach Jerritt Elliott. Madi was quick to reply to Elliott as she wrote, “I don’t imagine coming back to Texas. But thank you for reaching out. I have a lot of respect for you and your program.” That eventually led her to get on a call with Elliott.

Madi spent an hour on FaceTime with him. It was nothing about volleyball. Rather, Elliott asked her how she was doing, what was important to her, and what she needed from him to feel heard and seen. Her choice of Texas was further solidified as Texas star Logan Eggleston said that she believed Texas cared more about them as people than as volleyball players. That was exactly what Madi wanted to hear. During her visit to Texas, Madi quickly realized that the roster was full of great players and leaders, and she wouldn’t have the burden of carrying the entire team. There could not have been more her bruised mind could ask for.

Kentucky coach only had good words for Madisen Skinner

“Honored to have had the opportunity to wear blue for the past 2 years. Thank you Kentucky Volleyball, my amazing teammates, and BBN for all the love and support over the past 2 years. With that being said I’m excited to announce that I will be coming back to Tx! Hook ’em!” Madi had posted on Instagram when she left Kentucky.

Interestingly, Craig Skinner had said that he had “great conversations” with her while she was in Kentucky. In fact, the coach had also added, “Avery wanted to stay here and finish her Master’s but could not because it did not work for her.” As for Madi, Craig said, “For Madi, getting closer to home was important to her. She loved the program and staff here. She just felt being close to home was important to her.”

But, the Kentucky coach did not try to downplay the significance of her loss. “It was a bummer for us but every program in the country is working through that,” Craig said. “I don’t want to say the transfer portal is a buzzword. It does create opportunities for current players. I wish Madi and her family the best. She was good for us,” he had added.

The Texas girls will be coming in hot to the NCAA tournament with a 7-match winning streak and a 19-6 overall in the regular season. However, while they attempt to make NCAA and SEC history, their opponents won’t be giving them a hall pass. From the Nebraska Huskers to the Pittsburgh Panthers: the 64-team roster looks intimidating. But having a supportive team, Madi will look to put her skill to best use to combat the challenges, less burdened, and less pressurized.