“Failed to Even Kill Myself”: US Swimmer Who Ditched His Career at Prime, Fought Through Dangerous Addictions to Make One of the Biggest Comebacks in Olympics History

Stories of comebacks are perfect for inspiration. They are a great way to kindle the spirit and rejuvenate one’s energy. On the contrary, making a comeback is backbreaking, nerve-racking, and sometimes murderous. When asked what motivates one to make a return despite all odds, the response in most cases is to keep trying until the heart finds its answer.

Several comebacks have occurred throughout sports history. Every page of the comeback tales is filled with quests, endurance, and resilience. Reading such stories elicits a range of emotions. Anthony Ervin, a swimming icon in the United States, is one such story. His unpredictable fate led him to continue where he left off even better than he could have anticipated by setting a new world record at the 2016 Olympics.

Who is the swimming icon, Anthony Ervin?

Anthony Lee Ervin is a four-time Olympic medalist and two-time World Championship gold medalist from the United States. After Anthony Nesty, he was the second African-American descent swimmer to win an individual gold medal in Olympic swimming. He is the first African-American to win a gold medal in an individual Olympic swimming event.

The swimming icon won his first Olympic gold in the 2000 Summer Olympics, in Sydney. Furthermore, he won several international titles. He announced his retirement amid his prime career, which turned everything upside down.

He clinched Olympic gold for the second time in the 2016 Summer Olympics, 16 years after his first Olympic gold medal, at the age of 35, becoming the oldest individual Olympic gold medal winner in swimming.

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Also, he authored a book, ‘Chasing Water’ with another Imagine instructor, the writer Constantine Markides. Notably, a lot happened in the eight years before he returned to the Olympics. It would have been impossible to imagine that he would return and create history if one had seen him during that period. 

Between the Olympic golds

The record-making swimmer has endured certain disturbing situations. “I noticed you were blinking prior to the race. Was that your Tourette’s syndrome?” he was confronted after the relay that brought him his first Olympic gold. The next question was about his African-American descent. Those questions shook him, and he felt the utmost unease facing them. Several circumstances in which he was treated differently caused him to become depressed.

After he announced his untimely retirement, he delved into a world of obsessions of alcohol, drug, speed racing, motorbiking, and sex addiction. He also joined a band. Surprisingly, he believes that none of these things was a waste of his time. In every new obsession, he found some truth and incorporated that into his life, making him a better person for having done it.

Conversely, Ervin also practiced Zen meditation. Although he didn’t continue it as a regular practice, he learned and absorbed the process. He says, “Be aware of them. Don’t reject them but be very conscious of them.”

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He also discovered that there is something common to all his obsessions- music, swimming, drugs, etc. They all tend to self-absorb.

Ervin believed in this process. He embraced it without resisting it. He even saw the face of death twice during his motorbike accident and the other due to the overconsumption of tranquilizers prescribed to ease Tourette’s syndrome. “I woke up the next morning only to find I had failed to even kill myself,” he said. “At that point, I had a moment-with-God-type thing. I was reborn, in a way.”

Time to Change

Eventually, he decided to straighten things for his family, friends, and well-wishers. He rediscovered his love for swimming and began practicing. Though he gave up the sport years ago, he kept the sportsman in him alive throughout.

“The weight of this gold feels much lighter knowing that it’s being carried by my people.” He said dedicating his comeback triumph in the 2016 Olympics to his family and friends.

Although Anthony Ervin’s comeback is something uncalled for, it gave a grand answer to his quest. “Follow your heart.” He rejoiced in his victory differently this time. His race and syndrome didn’t matter anymore. His magnificent return overshadowed everything else, thus making his story one of the best comeback stories of all time.

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Currently, his retweets include a lot about FINA, an international federation recognized by the International Olympic Committee for administering international competitions in water sports. The swimming icon shares posts encouraging young swimmers. He is also an ecological neighbor and advocates for the protection of water resources.