“Felt Like an Outcast”: Suni Lee Faced “Scary” Struggles at Auburn University That Stemmed From Her Olympic Gold

Entering Auburn University’s fall 2021 semester, Sunisa Lee was no ordinary woman; she was the first Asian-American woman to win the Olympic all-around title. Racing thoughts of whether the triumph came because of Simone Biles’s absence, Lee was blowing hot and cold: “In my head, I already don’t think that I should have won.” Add to that, Lee headlining in all things Auburn as the “star student,” as reassuring as it sounds, didn’t help at all!

In April last year, Lee made a difficult decision to step away from college gymnastics because of an incurable kidney disease, halting her competitive journey. As Suni Lee prepares for the 2024 Olympic trials, she has candidly shared her journey navigating life post-Tokyo, describing her struggles as ‘scary.’ Her revelations shed light on the formidable challenges elite athletes face when transitioning to collegiate life.

Suni Lee’s collegiate life did not pan out the way she wanted to be

In a recent interview with SI magazine, Suni Lee candidly discussed the impact of winning a gold medal on her gymnastics career at Auburn University. After her triumph in the all-around discipline at the Tokyo Olympics, Lee struggled with post-gold depression. She disclosed that her college experience didn’t unfold as expected, citing the challenges she faced amidst newfound fame and the demands of academic life. Additionally, she mentioned her teammates at Auburn weren’t very supportive. So she couldn’t confide in them, either. “I just really felt like an outcast, almost. They didn’t treat me that well. I just knew that I couldn’t trust them,” Lee said.

Her security concerns escalated as students began filming her while she ate in the cafeteria and even stalked her. Suni’s coach Jeff Graba discussed the topic further, expressing how Lee was instrumental in the Auburn gymnastics team’s success despite everything, “Having someone of [Lee’s] stature and the attention that came with it was a learning experience for everyone.” The team achieved significant success, which Graba attributes to their unity, growth, and handling of the situation with dignity and grace.

However, Lee was faced with a world of new expectations. Winning was just the normal, whereas falling short of a perfect performance drew people’s ire. Jeff Graba’s twin Jess said, “Everybody just thinks since you’re the gold medalist, you never make mistakes”. In addition, Lee’s chronic kidney ailment weakened her severely, making it difficult for her to grasp the equipment and causing her hands to peel from the bars.

Referring to ending her collegiate career, she told E! News, “It was really scary and really, really heartbreaking. I definitely went through a little bit of a mental spiral because gymnastics is my outlet and it’s my safe space.” There was a time when Suni Lee struggled to find a purpose without being able to practice at all. During this challenging time, her coaches, Jeff Graba and Alison Lim, supported her through the slump, employing various techniques for her recovery and recuperation.

Suni Lee moves toward Paris, taking one step at a time

Lee has taken to journaling, therapy, and engaging in mindful activities like spending time with friends and family, as well as focusing on physical recovery through practices such as napping. She admitted, “I definitely talk to my therapist a couple of times a week. It’s something that I prioritize a lot now because it has helped me the most. And talking to my coach too, he’s basically like my dad and we’re super, super close”. But even after that, it seems that the self-doubt has not yet subsided completely.

“I was constantly asking like, ‘Oh my gosh, did I make Trials? Did I make Trials?’ And everyone’s like, ‘Yeah, duh, you got the red [national team] jacket!’,” Lee said to Olympics,com recalling the moments after the selection. So what are strategies after getting over those goosebumps?

“I’m just trying to keep my composure, and now I know I just have to go back to the gym and work on my consistency, get my bar routine with full difficulty, and keep staying consistent on beam. I feel like I don’t need to do anything more,” Lee said. Notably, a few days back, Lee had posted a video of her performing a sequence on the bars consisting of a Nabieva, Bhardwaj, and Van Leeuwen. If she can perform this successfully, that could add nearly a point in difficulty. Jeff Graba’s plans have been instrumental in this.

“This is a challenge because we are used to dealing with ankle injuries or knee injuries or shoulder injuries, but we’re not used to dealing with, ‘I’ve been out for six months and now, I’m back’. Right now, we’re going every day as it goes,” Graba said referring to her gradual return to the sport. But the gap has indeed taken a toll. According to Graba, despite having the expertise, Suni’s mind has yet to get ready to believe in that. But Suni is resolute.

“I feel like a couple more weeks under my belt, and I’ll be right where I want to be. I’m my hardest critic. But I think I’m definitely on the right track,” Suni asserted. After Simone Biles, here is another story of a comeback that is progressing toward the grandest goal slowly but steadily.