Picture a college football program spiraling like a ’78 Camaro on an icy Ohio highway. The dashboard lights are all red, the radio’s stuck on static, and the driver’s seat? Empty. That’s Kent State football right now—a team stuck in neutral, hemorrhaging games faster than a diner sells bad coffee. But just as the engine sputters, a wildcard emerges. Yes, we have a plot twist.

A Steelers legend, no stranger to chaos himself, tosses a match into the gasoline… On Thursday, Kent State dropped a bombshell. Head coach Kenni Burns—the man tasked with reviving a program that’s 1-23 under his watch—was placed on paid administrative leave. No explanation. No farewell presser. Just a terse statement: “Offensive coordinator Mark Carney will direct on-field activities at this time.”

Spring practice starts in two days. The Golden Flashes haven’t named an interim. And the internet? Well, Antonio Brown—yes, that AB—chimed in with (possibly) a smirk, referring to himself in third person: “Antonio Brown would take that job…” The former Steelers MVP-caliber receiver—a man whose career nosedived faster than a Black Friday trampoline—couldn’t resist trolling. His tweet?

A cheeky power play. But AB’s not coaching material, is he? Still, his jab highlights Kent State’s desperation. ‘When your program’s a meme, you know it’s bad,’ people might just be saying. Now, let’s rewind…

Kenni Burns inherited a sinking ship in 2023. His résumé? Stellar stops at Minnesota and North Dakota State. His results at Kent State? A horror show. The Golden Flashes got outscored by 20 points per game in 2023. In 2024?

Try 30. They lost 21 straight, including a brutal 127-0 two-week beatdown by Tennessee and Penn State. It’s like watching a Little League team face the ’85 Bears. Meanwhile, Burns’ $475k salary didn’t cushion the blow. Especially after a local bank sued him last fall for $24K in unpaid credit card debt.

Kenni Burns’ tale: No Golden Flashes, not even one

Kenni Burns’ exit isn’t just about losses, though. It’s about optics. How does a coach earning half a million rack up credit card debt? Why extend his contract after a 1-11 debut? Did the administration panic? Did they bet on potential and ignore the receipts (literally)? Besides, Hometown Bank’s lawsuit—dismissed in January after Burns paid up—added fuel to the dumpster fire.

Meanwhile, the team’s stats read like a disaster flick: dead last nationally in offense and defense in 2024. The Golden Flashes mustered just 2,799 total yards offensively in 2024. Dead last in FBS while surrendering a staggering 6,189 yards defensively. For perspective, that’s like a pickup truck trying to outrace a NASCAR field. They essentially averaged 233.25 yards per game—worse than some high school squads.

The clock’s ticking, though. Spring practice looms, while interim coach Mark Carney—a career assistant—has to steady a ship taking on water. Recruits are spooked. Fans are furious. And Antonio Brown’s tweet? It’s a reminder that rock bottom sometimes still has a basement.

Kent State’s dilemma mirrors a line from Friday Night Lights: “Every man at some point faces a moment where he’s called upon.” But this isn’t TV. There’s no scripted comeback—just a battered program and a coach in limbo. As philosopher George Santayana warned, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Will Kent State learn? Or is Antonio Brown’s post a trailer for Groundhog Day in Ohio?