Do you recall when Ezekiel Elliott was penalised for making a charitable donation during a game? Or when they outlawed players wearing customised cleats to support charitable causes like cancer awareness? And let’s not forget the ban on end-zone parties—because, damn them, football players enjoy themselves. For a long time, the NFL has garnered media attention for its, let’s say, innovative application of the rules.

The league has done it once more. The Dallas Cowboys star CeeDee Lamb and his nose wipe celebration are the target this time. Yes, you read that right. Somehow, a simple nose wipe has gone too far in a sport where men can go into the stands, perform choreographed dance routines, and act like they’re rowing a boat. But nose wipe? Oh, that’s a no, BIG NO.

And what’s the reason they are citing? A crisp, no-nonsense four-word message: “That has gang connotations.” Yep, just like a stern high school principal who recently learnt about TikTok, the NFL is out here monitoring celebrations. The league’s Executive VP of Football Operations, Troy Vincent, reaffirmed the choice: “(The ‘nose wipe’) has gang connotations. Disrespect.” Although this isn’t a common problem, Vincent continued, the NFL wants to “kill it immediately.” Because it seems that’s where the league draws the line, right next to Lambeau Leaps and choreographed dance routines. CeeDee Lamb, on the other hand, is rolling his eyes at the whole thing. He reposted an article on the rule change on Instagram with the simple message, “Draggin it.”

CeeDee Lamb’s nose wipe is his defining motion, a personal celebration that gives his touchdowns a little swagger. He began using his signature nose wipe celebration during his rookie season with the Dallas Cowboys in 2020. And ever since, his fans have grown to adore this subtle yet fashionable addition, which has become a mainstay of his highlight reels. This was Lamb’s thing—until the NFL decided it wasn’t.

And to be honest, he’s not wrong. It seems strange to forbid a discreet nose wipe in a league that has long encouraged extravagant touchdown celebrations and allows defences to celebrate interceptions with staged end zone picture shoots. However, here we are. CeeDee Lamb must now come up with a new hallmark move when the No Fun League strikes once more.

NFL’s ban hammer strikes: CeeDee Lamb’s next move

CeeDee Lamb has a completely different problem in his life now. He has end zones to dance in, cameras to pose for, and touchdowns to score. Now, though, he must question himself, “What’s my next move?” each time he crosses that white line. Because the nose wipe has been formally placed in the same category as a throat cut or simulated gunfire, as stated in Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1(d), Page 50. The NFL has made it clear: Stay clean or risk being flagged.

Naturally, Lamb isn’t overjoyed. He tweeted his response on X, with a simple, “Smh, I have plenty in mind😒.” He was retweeting Benjamin Solak, who had alerted people to the new regulation that considers wiping one’s nose to be a “violent gesture.” According to NFL rules, any player seen engaging in such behaviour will get a 15-yard penalty for unsportsmanlike behaviour. Because, you know, a wide receiver leisurely wiping his nose after a touchdown is a real threat in the game, not 300-pound linemen colliding at full speed.

Let’s face it, though: did anyone genuinely believe that CeeDee would be slowed down by this? The man essentially lives off of his ability to adapt. He’s already planning a fresh celebration once you take away his nose wipe, most likely with the help of a group of dance choreographers, meme lords, and NFL rulebook loophole specialists.

Last season, this same individual made the Cowboys’ offence into his own highlight reel. The league seems to be concerned that a post-touchdown nose wipe is simply too much for America’s game to handle, as defenders failed to stop him and referees failed to flag him quickly enough.

CeeDee Lamb, though? He remains unaffected. He has addressed everyone with a classic message, he has “plenty in mind.” Perhaps he will simply pass the ball over while staring at the referee in a silent protest celebration. After each score, he might start pantomiming random acts of innocence, going into theatre mode. Whatever it is, it will undoubtedly become legendary.

Although the NFL may believe that the nose wipe is over, it has merely sparked a new round of CeeDee vs. The System. And if history has taught us anything, it is that it’s never wise to wager against Lamb on an open field.