What is it with Jerry Jones? If we have to go by Shannon Sharpe’s words, nothing is going to work for the Cowboys because their owner isn’t willing to hand over the keys. Well, forget the keys. In this case, it’s the hand-picking of head coaches, and you’d think after four decades of doing this thing, Jerry would know what makes a good head coach. Well, clearly not! The Dallas Cowboys are once again creating headlines after promoting Brian Schottenheimer to head coach. Yes, you read that right.

The pursuit of Lombardi Trophies dominates most team owners’ dreams, but Jerry Jones appears to be in search of an Emmy for Best Reality TV. Let’s set the scene: Since their last NFC Championship appearance in 1995, the Cowboys watched Toy Story come out and Y2K pass while Beyoncé established herself as a music icon. Yet here we are, debating whether Schottenheimer is the guy to break the curse—or just Jerry’s latest plot twist.

Mike Florio, the NFL National Reporter, summed it up best: “The Cowboys are obsessed with attention. Winning and losing is one thing. Being interesting is another. They are at least aware of how uninteresting this hire is. And this is no slight to Brian Schottenheimer. But it’s hard to talk about this without it sounding like an anti-Brian Schottenheimer thing. But what’s he done to position himself to be the coach of any team, much less the Dallas Cowboys? Then, there is the fact they didn’t really talk to that many people.

“I think what happened was, I’ll take it all the way back to square one, which isn’t that long ago. Season ends, Mike McCarthy’s contract expires nine days later. They have an exclusive window to negotiate with McCarthy. They decline the Bears’ request for permission to interview McCarthy. They were negotiating with McCarthy. Now at the end of the day, they made it sound like there was no negotiation. The negotiation fell apart over the length of the deal.

“The Cowboys wanted to keep it short. Why? Because they didn’t want to owe him money if they fired him. Cause Jerry Jones is cheap. Short-term deal for McCarthy. McCarthy wants a long-term deal. It falls apart.” While the former coach didn’t get the deal he wanted, QB Dak Prescott inked a four-year, $240 million deal, which made the passer the highest-paid player in NFL history.

However, the statistics Dak Prescott shows with 1,978 YDS and 11 TDs give the impression that he is receiving reheated leftovers prepared as gourmet food. During Schottenheimer’s lengthy time as offensive coordinator, the Cowboys scored 21.0 points per game to finish 20th in the league last season. A third-to-last selection in gym class distinguishes you from the poorest player, yet guarantees you won’t receive MVP honors.

Top Comment by taiwanr80

I’ve been a cowboys fan for all my life and it’s safe to say Jerry is doing what needs to...more

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As if the Cowboys weren’t already walking a tightrope, they now risk alienating their star QB. Dak Prescott thrives on continuity, but this decision feels less like a strategic plan and more like a Jerry Jones impulse buy.

Jerry Jones’ Cowboys lose their WR Coach…

Meanwhile, in sunny Miami, the Dolphins have their own soap opera brewing. Wide receivers coach Wes Welker is out, leaving Tyreek Hill—aka “Cheetah“—without the guy who helped turbocharge his career. Hill has been the Dolphins’ undisputed offensive engine. During his previous season, he recorded 81 receptions for 959 yards and 6 touchdowns, which demonstrates his speed remains superior even during his least productive years. Without Welker, it will be different because his absence will feel similar to Batman without Alfred, who serves as his essential support.

Let’s rewind for context. In Kansas City, Hill became a household name thanks to Andy Reid. But in Miami, Welker fine-tuned his skills and brought the best out of both Hill and Jaylen Waddle. Fans are now wondering if the Dolphins will take a step back without him. BUT!

In true NFL fashion, the Dolphins wasted no time interviewing Dallas Cowboys WR coach Robert Prince. Prince has been part of a Cowboys offense that struggled last season, scoring only 327.5 total points—their lowest output since 2018. While he has the experience, it’s hard to imagine Dolphins fans feeling confident about replacing Welker with someone from a Cowboys team that couldn’t even outscore the Commanders.

Both the Cowboys and Dolphins seem to be stuck in existential crises. Dallas wants to be the star of the NFL, but their moves scream a midlife crisis. Miami, on the other hand, is like that friend who finally got their life together but can’t stop tripping over their own shoelaces.

In the NFL, nothing is ever dull. Jerry Jones’ Cowboys are proof that bad press is still press, while the Dolphins are left wondering if Prince can fill Welker’s shoes. Whether it’s Schottenheimer’s uninspired promotion or Hill’s search for a new coach, one thing is clear: both franchises are doing the most—and the least—all at once. If there’s one thing the NFL does better than football, it’s drama. What do you think?