“Being a dad is my most important job,” former NFL GM Mark Dominik once mused. But right now? His other job—predicting roster chaos—is stealing the spotlight. Cue the San Francisco 49ers, where drama’s hotter than a California wildfire. Ex-GM’s are whispering that Kyle Shanahan’s ready to ghost Deebo Samuel to fund Brock Purdy’s glow-up. Meanwhile, the Niners just locked down seven under-the-radar players faster than you can say “cap gymnastics.” Let’s unpack this Silicon Valley soap opera.

Let’s start with the cold, hard stats. In 2024, Deebo Samuel—the human Swiss Army knife—logged 51 catches, 670 yards, 3 TDs, and rushed for 136 yards. For most mortals, that’s solid. For Deebo? It’s like ordering a five-star meal and getting a soggy burrito. Compare that to Purdy, who threw for 3,864 yards, 20 TDs, and scrambled for 323 rushing yards.

Deebo’s decline & Purdy’s payday: A love story?

“They’re about to sign Brock Purdy… to a massive extension,” Dominik said, dropping truth bombs like confetti. Translation: Deebo’s $15.83M cap hit? Bye, Felicia. Rewind to 2022: Deebo inked a 3 year, $71.55M deal, complete with a $24M signing bonus. But after 2024’s “meh” season? He’s reportedly eyeing the exit like a kid who forgot his lunch. Meanwhile, Purdy is cashing in. His rookie deal? A $3.7M over four years. Next up? A contract that’ll make Scrooge McDuck blush. “You can’t pay every player,” Dominik sighed, referencing the Niners’ cap hell. Cue the Moneyball music.

Dave Ross chimed in on the drama: “Deebo kind of went through this last year with San Francisco—he wanted out, he wanted to go to the East Coast. Didn’t work out, he came back to San Francisco. But maybe this time it feels different, right? Doesn’t it feel like K Shanahan and John Lynch are like, ‘Okay, Deebo, you’ve been a good player for us, but we’re not going through this again.’” Dominik doubled down: “I think he’s gonna get moved out. I think they’re going to move on from Deebo in whatever capacity that is. That’s just my gut instinct. When you look at the way they’ve built this football team, and they’re about to sign Brock Purdy this offseason, in my opinion, to a massive extension, you’ve got to start cutting costs somewhere. You can’t pay every player.”

Enter rookie WR Ricky Pearsall — the Niners’ shiny new toy with Rec 31 YDs 400 (Tied-121st) TDs 3 Avg 12.9. Dominik gushed, “I loved the guy… he tore people apart at the Senior Bowl.” Translation: Deebo, who? Pearsall’s route-running is so crisp, it could star in a TikTok ASMR video. And with Brandon Aiyuk already paid (cha-ching), Deebo’s role feels as essential as a screen door on a submarine.

But let’s not forget Purdy’s glow-up. Dude’s playing QB like he’s got cheat codes: 65.9% completion, 96.1 passer rating, and five rushing TDs. Meanwhile, Deebo’s side-eye could power the Golden Gate Bridge. “It kind of seems crystal clear… Deebo won’t be in San Francisco,” Dominik declared. Cue the world’s tiniest violin playing Hello, Hater.

49ers’ offseason moves: Roster Tetris on expert mode

Now, let’s talk about the Niners’ seven offseason chess moves. They tendered contracts to ERFAs—Exclusive Rights Free Agents, aka “the guys your mom confuses with the practice squad.” The list? DT Evan Anderson, DE Alex Barrett, LB Jalen Graham, DE Sam Okuayinonu, OL Austen Pleasants, TE Jake Tonges, and TE Brayden Willis, “It’s like American Idol,” one insider joked. “You either get a golden ticket or get ghosted.”

Anderson’s the standout here. In 2024, he racked up 13 solo tackles, 11 AST, and 1 sack—basically doing his best Aaron Donald impression on a Walmart budget. The rest? Depth chart filler. But hey, even superheroes need sidekicks. So where does Deebo land? The East Coast rumor mill’s spinning faster than a Purdy play-action. The Eagles need a gadget guy. The Cowboys crave drama. The Jets? They’ll take anyone not named Zach Wilson. But for Niners fans, it’s bittersweet. Deebo’s 2021 season—1,770 scrimmage yards, 14 TDs—was a masterpiece. Now? He’s the ex you still stalk on Instagram.

As for Purdy, his extension talks are hotter than a tailgate grill. “Talent is part of the equation, but when you combine talent with accountability and authenticity, it is tough to beat.” Ross philosophized, channeling his inner Ted Lasso. But in the NFL? It’s also about cold, hard cash. And Purdy’s about to get paid. Shanahan’s playing 4D chess here. Betting on Purdy over Deebo is riskier than a fourth-down fake punt. But if Purdy becomes the next Montana and Peaw blooms? Genius. If not? Cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.

Either way, the Niners’ 2025 season hinges on this mantra: “In Brock We Trust.” And Deebo? He’ll be elsewhere, probably posting thirst traps in a new jersey. Mic drop. Fade to “Don’t Stop Believin’.”