It’s not every day you see an athlete turn his back on the NFL draft, let alone do it with enough flair to make headlines. In a world of stoic press releases and overly polished announcements, this self-proclaimed ‘immensely mediocre’ Toledo kicker was an imposter among the players waiting to hear their name in April. Instead of prepping for draft day drills, this kicker is focused on runway walks and has a message for Roger Goodell, that too with his signature unconventional style.

Meet Michael Denning, the Toledo Rockets kicker who has taken “hanging up the cleats” to an entirely new level. On Friday, Denning declared his decision to swap pigskins for high fashion, announcing his withdrawal from professional football with by far the most hilarious announcement ever, his X post that read: “After deep reflection, I grew to realize that no matter where I was, I was never the best kicker, but by god if I weren’t the most handsome man in any locker room I ever stepped in.”

In the carefully curated graphic, a hallmark of draft declarations, Denning hilariously announced his intent to “enter unemployment,” marking the end of what he described as a career of “4 years of underwhelming performances.” Well, Denning’s message went beyond the words on the page!

In a follow-up video, the average kicker—dressed in a blazer on top and boxers on the bottom—unleashed a performance that would make even the boldest NFL marketing execs take notes. “Roger Goodell’s been hitting my line, throwing a little bit of stupid money my way trying to get me to join the NFL,” Denning joked, oozing mock confidence.

“You know, he knows I sell tickets, so that’s a big one.” Whether Goodell’s hypothetical call was real or imagined, Denning delivered the line like a seasoned entertainer, cementing his status as college football’s reigning comedy king.

But why stop at football when the world of MODELING awaits?

Denning claims he’s already got deals in the works. “Been on the phone with the CEO of Vogue,” he said, delivering the line with the casual swagger of someone who’s been Vogue’s cover star for years. “We got a couple photo shoots scheduled; we’re gonna get some magazines coming your way probably late this year.”

The kicker’s knack for humor shined brightest when he added a Hollywood twist to his future plans. “My boy Chris Nolan has been hitting my line, writing up a few different parts for me, thinking of maybe getting rid of Pattinson as Batman, maybe subbing me in for him.”

The decision to exit football for a career in modeling and entertainment is rare, to say the least. A similar kind of news did go viral a few days ago when Washington’s LB Drew Fowler comically declared for the ‘job market.’ Denning’s is on a whole other level, though.

In a sport where seriousness often takes center stage, these announcements were a refreshing break from a rather nervy transfer and draft saga. The kicker’s self-deprecating humor—acknowledging his average stats while hyping his good looks—has endeared him to fans across the country.

While Denning’s professional football career may not have left him with a highlight reel of clutch field goals, his announcement has secured him a legacy that no stat sheet could ever capture.

A look at the “devilishly handsome” Michael Denning and his average stats

Michael Denning might just have a career in comedy if politics doesn’t work out. On Friday morning, the former Toledo kicker broke the internet with a tongue-in-cheek post announcing his “intent to enter unemployment.” Styled like the glossy, high-production graphics college players use to declare for the NFL Draft, Denning’s announcement had fans and followers doing double takes—and cracking up.

“It is obvious that many NFL GMs and executives may be surprised by this decision, as I am widely favored to be a first-round pick,” Denning joked in the post. He even threw in a shoutout to Commissioner Goodell, saying, “With this, I say, especially to Roger Goodell, you may breathe a sigh of relief, my friend. But remain vigilant.”

While Denning pokes fun at himself, his resume isn’t shabby. The 6’0″ kicker made 10 appearances in 2023, primarily on kickoffs, and averaged 57.2 yards on 50 attempts. Not bad for a guy from Sidney, Ohio, who spent three years at Dayton before transferring to Toledo.

Now working on his MBA, Denning has his eyes set on politics—and based on this post, he’ll be his own social media manager. Who says kickers can’t score laughs and votes?