The Miami man has some ideas for you, Portland! For those who follow The OG’s Podcast, you’ll know that Heat legend Udonis Haslem isn’t quite a fan of Portland’s nightlife after the famous strip club incident. To be fair, he doesn’t believe it even exists in that city. As the podcast’s newest guest, Greg Oden recalled one of his stints in the Rose City, Haslem almost lost his cool.

On the podcast, Oden recalls a moment he was asked to leave New York and his family there for Portland immediately to attend a parade. Almost as quick as a flash, Haslem responded with a hilarious critique of the city. “Portland… I have seen your night life. Ain’t a thing going on where you had to rush that man from New York and you could see that,” Haslem said.

Apparently, he has previously mentioned his deep distaste for Portland’s nearly non-existent or terrible nightlife. However, Oden appeared to contradict Haslem’s opinion. The 2x Gatorade National Player of the Year shared that the nightlife in Portland is actually quite vibrant and that he enjoyed his time there.

“I love Portland, and I actually found some nightlife,” Oden said. Needless to say, Haslem wasn’t fond of the comment. He went on to compare his experience in Portland to horror shows like The X-Files and Walking Dead. “I caught myself trying to go out to grab a drink… That’s the scariest I’ve ever seen. Like from X-Files,” he said.

Traumatized by the experience, Haslem recounted, “This is scary as f** out there, man. You think you finna stop and get a drink? You in for some f*** from walking dead. I’m like, hold on, man. I’m like, hold on, man. Everybody can’t look like this.”

The 3x NBA champ had shared this terrible Portland experience earlier this year with the same intensity. And he wasn’t alone in the instance.

Udonis Haslem was horrified by Portland’s nightlife

The retired basketball player Goran Dragić was also with Haslem as he experienced this moment to remember forever. After a few losses, the former teammates Dragić and Haslem needed something to boost their morale. Without much thought, the two headed to a strip club to relax and have a good time. But the experience was far from relaxing.

In Haslem’s words, it was like something straight out of a horror movie. It’s no wonder that in the latest podcast, he suggested Portland take cues from Miami on how to party. Advising Portland to work on its club scene, the Miami Heat legend said, “Portland, y’all gotta do better. Everybody look like they do meth in this b**. What the f* we looking at here? This is insane.”

The two couldn’t take it anymore and walked out of the club in search of a nice place to drink and relax. Well, one thing is for sure, though—Haslem isn’t going back to the party in Portland again.

Stay tuned for more such updates and join us for the exciting second episode of the “Dual Threat Show” as our host BG12 sits down with Georgia Bulldogs star and Mountain West All-Freshman Team Selection, Asia Avinger.