“Being a Stepmother…Weird”: Having Inherited Certain ‘Traits’, Gabrielle Union Confesses to Being “Hard” on Stepchildren

Parenting is tough no matter what the age of your children is. From infancy to adulthood, the journey of parents is ceaseless. Matters become trickier when you marry someone who already has children. It can create hurdles in coming close to children who’ve called another person their mother or father. However, there are instances of stepparents forging a strong bond with their stepchildren. 

Gabrielle Union faced such a challenge when she became stepmother to Dwyane Wade’s children, Zaya, Zaire, and Xavier Wade. If you are wondering about her thoughts on being a stepmother, she delves into the subject during her appearance on Skip Intro by Krista Smith.

How Gabrielle Union tackled being a stepmother

Conversing with Smith, she opens up about her own childhood. Gabrielle talks about her therapeutic sessions and yearning for someone who loves her. She also adds that she left the “need to be validated” side in the past. She says, “To be validated by a man, a job, an opportunity, covert, or whatever. I am good in every hood, being exactly who the hell I am.”

Union also opens up about her experiences being a stepmother and her approach to the new kids in her life.

Regarding Dwayne’s children, Gabrielle expresses, “I was hard on them because my dad was hard on me. And being a stepmother is such a weird place. You don’t really know what your lane is. You don’t really don’t know what your expectations are. When I realize your job is to be a consistent adult presence in their life. My idea of what a real solid adult woman provides is discipline. I was, perhaps, addicted to discipline and order and schedules; and anything that deviated from that felt like the world will end.”

Of course, she required help to bring up the new children in her life. So, she turned to her father for help.

Read more: “I Have Six Toes”: Reflecting on Constant Scrutiny, Dwyane Wade’s Wife Gabrielle Opens Up About Harsh Reality

The shift in her parenting

Gabrielle says she adhered to the Bobby Knight type of approach. Her father, a military sergeant, preached the approach. And we aren’t surprised to learn that discipline comes first in this approach.

Discipline was primary, meaning things have to be orderly, which can equate to strict parenting.

Confessing the limitation of this approach, she wonders if this type of approach is “helpful for these kids.” She laments, “I had to acknowledge that it wasn’t, it was actually setting them back. It was putting them in a cage that they didn’t sign up for and they didn’t need to be in.”

Union acknowledges bringing up children the right way means she needs a change in her approach. She says, “I started leading with love, and grace, and consideration, and respect that they are whole a** people. And, they do have opinions. They should have a say so how their lives play out. I just leaned into it”.

She brings up the questions that came up when Zaya came out as trans in 2020, calling the circumstances “beyond control”.

This flexible approach helps the star actor acknowledge Zaya’s identity. It also proves that parenting is a long-term process. This has been a huge media discourse ever since Zaya’s biological mother and Wade’s ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches, brought up serious allegations against both the Miami Heat‘s Legend and Union.

What’s your take on Gabrielle Union and her new parenting style? Do share in the comments below.

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