You may never know who, among your friends, needs you today. And that’s exactly what happened with Pan Cheng-tsung, known as C.T. Pan. His very close friend Britney Dio, whom he had known for ages, committed s***ide on February 17, 2022. CT Pan and his wife knew that she had been suffering but they never knew that the pain was so deep.

Michelle told PGA Tour that Britney was an “extremely down-to-earth” person, and she was “like an angel.” The pair took a big step in promoting mental health awareness and helping those in need once they lost someone so dear to them and realized that s***ide is one of the leading causes of death in people aged from 10 to 34. 

“It’s okay to not be okay,” says C.T. Pan

The tragic news left C.T. Pan and his wife, Michelle, devastated to their core. As a result, Pan decided to not sit around and wait for the change, but to make it happen. The golfer took it up on himself to raise awareness at the RBC Heritage. He talked to Britney’s husband and frequent golf partner, Taylor, and in honor of Britney, he wore a purple and turquoise ribbon pinned on the top of his cap. The ribbon is considered to be a symbol of s***ide awareness and prevention. 

In an interview with the PGA Tour, the golfer said, “So I think all this is going to help people know it’s okay not to be okay.” Per golfer, people need to know that their pain and suffering do not make them any different from others but only more human. “We don’t have to be perfect. But the most important thing is that you need to seek help,”  he continued, encouraging people to ask for help when in need. 

“If you have anxiety, if you’re depressed, if you’re having a difficult time, if you are suffering pain, I think it’s better to talk it out. We want to raise awareness that it’s okay not to be okay,” added the Taiwanese golfer. The golfer recognized the effects of depression and wanted to implement some lasting changes in society.

Talking it out is considered to be the best therapy practice, and CT Pan is preaching that. PGA Tour’s website says that Britney was a high-spirited woman; then what led her to leave everything behind and take such a tragic step? 

Britney Dio was a friend, a mother, and an amazing human

According to the PGA Tour, Britney was a woman full of life. With Taylor, her college sweetheart, as her husband, and their beautiful daughter, Anika, Britney was leading a normal life. She was the kind of mother who loved going extra on every holiday. Whether it was Christmas decorations or themed cakes for birthdays, Britney did everything with great effort. She loved to dance, work out, and focus on nutrition. If everything was perfect, then why did Britney take her own life? Well, the reason is as gut-wrenching as the news was.

The PGA Tour’s website says Britney’s behavior was taken into notice by her family members two years before her death. They would see her crying on the couch until the depression took over. Social media was not of any help. With her friends posting pictures of their families, Britney felt like she wasn’t being the perfect mother to her daughter. 

Britney was ab**ed by an acquaintance when she was only 12. After keeping this to herself for eight years, she told Taylor when they were in college. To add to that, she was suffering from postpartum depression after the birth of their daughter, but she didn’t let it take over her and told Taylor that it was just a wave of sadness. To overcome her misery, Britney used to go to the gym, which Taylor described as something that gave her control over her body.

Taylor told the PGA Tour that Britney didn’t want to go to therapy and that she always felt excessive back pain. Whenever they consulted a doctor, they always said her back looked fine. But according to Taylor, his wife’s body was telling her otherwise. “It was burning, throbbing, and swelling. I mean, there was pain there. You could feel her back when you hugged her,” said Taylor.

Once Britney wrote a s***ide note and told Taylor about it. “She was scared of herself,” Taylor recalled. “We obviously cried together, talked about it together and found a (mental health facility).” Brittney spent 6 weeks at the clinic, and the doctors diagnosed her with a psychosomatic pain disorder stemming from postpartum depression combined with the ab**e when she was younger.

Taylor said in the interview that his wife felt the most suffering in the mornings. “She always told me that the morning was the hardest part for her because she’d wake up and she had wished that she wouldn’t wake up,” Taylor told PGA Tour. “I look at it, and I believe that you can get to a place that’s so dark that there’s no coming back because she was always such a positive person.” 

C.T. Pan’s small but significant step to encourage everyone to open up will surely give the world a new ray of hope. This dreadful occurrence is a wake-up call for everyone to reach out to their loved ones and ask, Are you okay?