‘Lost With Myself’- Andrey Rublev Revisits Horrifying Past as He Opens Up on One of the Troubling Times

Tennis pros might make it look effortless on the court, but beneath the surface, they face grueling schedules, constant travel, and at times, personal battles with mental health. Andrey Rublev is one of the few who has bravely shared his struggles with depression and even described experiencing patterns akin to being “bipolar” while competing at the highest level. With 17 titles under his belt over a decade-long career, he’s undoubtedly one of the top players in the world, currently holding the No. 9 position in the ATP rankings. Fresh off a title win in Doha, it looks like the Russian player has been on the path to helping himself.

Rublev recently clinched his first title of the 2025 season at the Qatar Open, marking a significant achievement since his last title at the 2024 Madrid Open nearly a year ago. Now, he’s competing at the Dubai Duty-Free Tennis Championships, with his first singles match against Quentin Halys. Ahead of his match, Rublev spoke candidly about his dark moments with mental health, revealing, “I was just kind of in a loop, lost with myself for a couple of years, not finding the way, not understanding what to do, what for? It sounds a bit dramatic, like what’s the reason or purpose to live?”

Despite his impressive career, Rublev felt like “mentally” he was “out of order” and felt like it was of everything that was building up over time. “I don’t know, just completely lost with myself, and that’s it,” he added. “The thing is, one thing is when it is happening for one month, two months, three months, okay, maybe I still have patience or something, but when it’s happening for one year, two years, three years, four years, five… it’s coming for many, many years. In one moment, it’s like you cannot take it anymore,” he explained. Rublev revealed that he was on antidepressants for a year, which seemed to help briefly.

However, it was short-lived. The Russian noted that “in the beginning, it looked like it was a bit better, but then nothing” – perhaps this was around the time he began losing his temper on the court, shocking fans with incidents like hitting his racket over his knee or screaming at the crowd or line judges, such as at the French Open and Paris Masters. But he acknowledged that he needed to work on his temper on the court and took it in stride to make this happen.

The 27-year-old credited a conversation with former world No. 1 Marat Safin which gave him a new, less negative mindset, helping him “start to move in a better direction.” Rublev has managed to stay in the top 10 for four years now since breaking in, back in October 2020. With his new mindset and encouragement, he might just make it far going forward. As he phrased it, “I’m just neutral, not happy, not bad, but at least I found the base, and that’s like a beginning.”

This isn’t the first time Rublev has opened up about seeking help and working on his mental health.

Andrey Rublev previously spoke up about his mental health as well

During the 2024 Canadian Open, Rublev made headlines not just for his impressive tennis skills but also for his candid discussions about mental health. After defeating Italy’s Matteo Arnaldi with a convincing 6-4, 6-2 score to reach the finals, the former World No. 5 opened up about his career’s highs and lows, including his ongoing battle with depression.

In a press conference, he shared some heartfelt advice for young people struggling with similar issues, emphasizing the importance of awareness in making life decisions. “Like any decision you take or any feeling you are feeling or emotions, to be aware of that, where exactly it’s coming from, why, and to be aware that it’s your decision,” Rublev advised, highlighting how often people get clouded by others’ opinions and lose sight of their own thoughts.

When asked about his approach to managing these challenges, Rublev revealed that he had tried various methods, including working with different psychologists and courses. However, he credited Safin for helping him gain valuable insights, saying, “Everything. I was trying to figure out a lot by myself. I was trying to figure out those things a lot with a different psychologist, with different courses, but who helped me a lot and he make me realize everything is Marat Safin.”

Rublev’s willingness to speak openly about his mental health struggles has been a beacon of hope for many young athletes facing similar challenges. His message of self-awareness and the importance of living life on one’s own terms resonates deeply. By acknowledging that he too needed advice on managing his mental health, Rublev has shown a remarkable level of humility, that’s for sure!