‘Don’t Kill Myself’ – ‘Depressed’ Andrey Rublev Gets Real About Agonizingly Painful Life as Pro in a Hard-Hitting Admission

Andrey Rublev won the Madrid Open for the first time in his career and lifted his second Masters title, breaking the curse that had glazed his 2024 season with losses. With defeat coming so often, Rublev’s mental health had a profound negative impact. The Russian star opened up in a recent podcast appearance where he talked about how constant losses have impacted him and how he deals with them now. 

Losing on the world stage undoubtedly has a negative influence on a player’s performance, which means they need to be adept at getting over losses quickly. The world number 6 appeared on the Tennis Insider Club’s podcast, where he spoke about his difficulty in overcoming defeats. “Before was affecting a lot. A lot I could be depressed, I don’t know, whatever, three days recovering, now I’m tired (laughs). So I try at least in the year surpassing so far so and then we’re losing every week.“

“And if they’re every week, you are depressed for one week, and there’s no moments to enjoy your life. So I tried to separate okay, yes, of course, when I’m losing, I don’t have a good mood. But I tried to at least don’t kill myself. It’s tough to have a good mood or something.”

Andrey Rublev encountered several early exits this year, which also led to many outbursts and even self-harm. After his Madrid victory, the ATP star got emotional, “If you knew what I have been through last nine days you would not imagine that I would be able to win a title.”

Defeats usually got him to react in anger, which threatened to spiral his form out of control. However, he found a way to get rid of his anger and gave a clue to the method he used to move on from bad performances.

Andrey Rublev finds peace in agony by setting himself ‘free’

Andrey Rublev became known for his fantastic tennis skills in 2020 as he entered the top 10. However, from the end of 2023, he would become infamous for not having control over his emotions. A bloodied knee due to constant racquet smashes, screaming at officials leading to defaults, and the general racquet smash increased the concerns of his fans.

He found control over his emotions in the Madrid Open as he delivered a fantastic comeback in the final. After his win, he wrote, “Samadhi, now I’m free,” on the camera. Samadhi is a state of oneness achieved through meditation. Rublev’s message could point to the fact that he has managed to control his emotions through meditation.

As he needs to get over defeat quickly, he also needs to get over wins quickly. After lifting the Madrid Open, he would aim to do the same in Rome. Will he manage to find peace once again?